Ukulele Crime

Ukulele Teacher Indicted On Sex Assault Charge

2008-06-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

"A grand jury indicted a Ukulele teacher from Windward Oahu on sexual assault charge for allegedly fondling a boy."

Oh man, this is terrible - he's supposed to be showing the boy how to finger CHORDS!

Burglars take ukulele in Liliha!

2008-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Dec. 20, 2007 - KHNL News

"The owner of this Liliha home arrived to find burglars ransacking her house. So bold, they locked her out then ran out the back. A ukulele and financial papers are missing."

The financial papers can be printed out again - but the uke must be returned!

"The suspect vehicle a white dodge pickup truck hit a Honda. ... The family whose home was burglarized hope their ukulele and other things are still in that stolen truck."

Curses of the Ukulele

2007-11-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

Fifteen years ago, a shady music lover at Juke Box Saturday Night stole Tiny Tim's ukulele. Tiny Tim, of "Tonight Show" and "Laugh-In" fame, was living and working in Des Moines. A few months after the heist, the rains came and Des Moines looked like Venice.

Vagrant with a ukulele

2007-09-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

From the Avon/Avon Lake (Ohio) police blotter:

Tuesday, Sept. 4
10:37 p.m. – 32700 block Walker Road, police responded to a suspicious condition after a resident reported seeing a “vagrant with a ukulele” playing music outside a building.

"Fight Gloves" concealed in uke

2007-05-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

Guam, May 16, 2007 - "A terrible thing is happening in our schools," Guam Public School System Superintendent Luis Reyes said yesterday. "Students are engaging in organized, brutal combat activities."

Through continued investigation, school officials were able to identify two alleged "fight clubs" in which the students are members, and that all those involved are residents of the same village. They also allege that the "fight gloves" used in the fights was concealed inside a ukulele.

School officials also said the groups are very well organized, and that they employ "timekeepers, watchers and promoters."

"The students are that sophisticated," Flores said. "A watcher will have a guitar or ukulele and if he's strumming, that means an adult is coming."

Police restore stolen uke to boy

2007-03-10T23:57:00.000-08:00

"Preliminary investigation by Kona patrol officers determined that three men confronted the boy at 11:30 p.m. Thursday and forcibly took an 'ukulele and a small amount of cash." Oh the horror - was it a Kamaka or a Martin, or perhaps only a lowly Mahalo. "Shortly after police responded, they located the suspects on Kuakini Highway near Kalawa Street and recovered the 'ukulele." Ford's in his flivver and all's right with the world.